


The feeling of feeling

by I_has_frozen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Oneshot, no smut sorry, somewhere near artful, very very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:42:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8002318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_has_frozen/pseuds/I_has_frozen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The way Louis Tomlinson feels about Harry Styles and more. There's a promise in everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The feeling of feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so yes I should be updating LemonLime but I was in the mood of writing something artsy so this was born. It's extremely short but it holds in a lot.

There’s a promise in every word, in every breath, in every second. A promise that carries a whisper of happiness, of success. A promise to carry the sorrow that is life far away from those who still believe in better. Every inhale and every exhale release moments in the air that strokes the golden hair of time and sings mellow lullabies to drown the world.

There’s a promise in every step, in every turn, in every fall. A promise to keep you safe and star-eyed even as the night sky can no longer hold light as its own, as the moon is too scarred and disgusted to witness the things that happen anymore. Every slow, relaxed blink captures the outlines of meaning and closes it in the lane made from memories that you can stroll and relive just before you fall of the edge.

Harry is a promise, Louis came to find out. A promise filled with round edges and rough whispers after the sun was smothered. Eyes green as poison that Louis voluntarily drank to make the earning go away, but only ended up needing more. Brown hair curling away and towards Louis’ touch that with time grew long enough to choke him in his sleep.

Harry is a boy disguised as death and other way around. A murderer wrapped in satin sheets with lips of mercy and unforgiveness that helped Louis to fall in the belief of tomorrow and hope.

Louis breathes for Harry, Louis breathes in Harry and his sorrows raise a white flag on his shoulders, where they usually would lay. Louis speaks with Harry, his tongue wrapping around sweet words that Harry’s own tongue catches and returns. Sometimes they only need their tongues to have a conversation.

Louis’ smile reeled the boy in back in the day, indulging in the promise that spread its comforting silver songs around Louis. The silver turned into a web that held Louis in its cradle and punctured his chest into his heart. He felt the pain and has never stopped feeling it. He feels it when Harry brakes down in front of him, when Harry smiles at him, when he surrounds Louis’ every existing sense but is never close enough.

Harry is a sin worth committing. 

There’s a promise in every smile, in every look, in every touch. A promise to fix you even if you’re not broken. But it’s also a promise of being broken into little pieces by small things and being in pain that kills you from the inside. 

There are two sides in every promise and in every action. Trust can lift you in other dimensions and open up shimmering worlds and waterfalls that were not supposed to exist. But trust can drop you down ten stories into broken glass that was knitted from shattered tears.

Harry Styles has two sides. He is so warm and full of life that it pains Louis just to look at him. The overwhelming chanting from his head as he stands close to this long legged shadow that could make him cave in on himself with just a few words. Some things are just so good that you’re left screaming for mercy because you feel you can’t have enough.

But it’s also having something, because having something always means that there is a possibility of losing it. The nightmares of Harry’s receding back that Louis has many times repeated behind his eyelids after the covering darkness has descended. Or the boy with a face so white with blue lips and empty eyes that don’t resemble the colour green anymore has broken Louis far too many times.

Harry is Louis’ breaking point, but the breathing form of dreams has squirmed inside Louis’ skin and has made home in so deep that to make him disappear would cause Louis skinning himself apart. Harry can push Louis to the verge of dying when his words take in the poisonous colour from his eyes. When his lips spit out snarls that turn into daggers midway in the air and make Louis fall onto his knees.

But Harry can make Louis weak on the knees in other ways. He can warm cold air by smiling with his eyes and tell Louis the words he never knew he wanted to hear. Harry can mend every mental bruise with just soft kisses and then cause new, physical ones, with his teeth that shine in the moonlight.

Louis can be tearing himself apart and suffocating on the lack of eye contact and reassuring touches and moment after be teared apart in another, rougher, pleasurable way that makes his heart fall out of beat and leave him gasping for air. Harry is a medicine for pain but he also is the disease causing it. Harry is making him fly with the wind that can turn into a tornado in any moment, spinning Louis around until he’s just as dizzy as when Harry is all his.

Feelings and time have a lot in common. They both carry promises behind them like secrets as they travel towards the end. Promises like they’ll be forever. Both of them surround you like tar and are not letting go, and the more you struggle to make distance between you the more they stick with you. Just like time can make feelings disappear, the right feelings can make time disappear, to dissolve into the thin air. And to Louis the name Harry Styles is in both of them.

Harry was a small smiling boy when he stumbled on Louis’ path, easy to be wrapped in the older boy’s arms. Now Harry is a tall smiling boy, stumbling next to Louis on their conjoined lane of memories and still lets Louis wrap him in his hold. Nothing and everything has changed and as the sand keeps falling in the time glass, draining from above to slowly drown them, Louis wants to build a sandcastle on the bottom of their world that could shatter with a whisper and make them a home.

Because Harry is a promise to Louis. A promise that bluebirds won’t go silent or that leaves will always die only wrapped in beauty. Because Harry’s fingers and small touches can make Louis’ believe in carrying on, and hear the notes wrapped in the moving world. Life is a travelling force that collects drops of time inside its footsteps as it circles the gold dusted universe. Life is a promise and Harry is a promise.

Harry is life.

Louis is a wanderer that is lost in the world and Harry is his map. Harry is also the skin he’s wandering in, sometimes too overwhelmed by the boy’s whole being that he can’t find north anymore. Harry is a carrier and the cause of strong emotions that circle Louis like he’s a fox trapped by hunters ready to run away. But from Harry Louis doesn’t want to run away because he’s worth dying for. He’s worth living for. He’s worth dying with.

There’s a promise in every word, in every breath, in every second. And every single one of those things Louis wants to spend with Harry. He’d say that he’s in love but the word isn’t enough to describe the feeling that is Harry.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought of it. Love you all.


End file.
